Disneyland
by TheNewIdea
Summary: A sequel to Welcome to Disney World. Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland and Crocodile from Peter Pan take center stage as they try to overcome obstacles and achieve their own dreams while making others come true. Rated T for humor, pop culture references, romantic drama, satirical parodies of historical icons and musical segments.
1. Clocks

Chapter One

Clocks

In the southern California, a little west of Los Angeles lies what some people call The Happiest Place on Earth. This place was created by Walt Disney, opening on July 17th, 1955. This place is Disneyland.

The residents of Disneyland are the creations of Walt Disney Studios. You probably know some of their names: Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, Pluto, Pete etc. Everything in Disneyland, to the cartoons, was as real and alive as you and me. To the visitors of the park, they were only attractions.

Our story begins in Main Street. It was a hot summer day that July, the temperature hit 109 degrees. In all of its history Disneyland never closed and it wasn't about to on account of the heat, but the residents were not expecting much in the way of visitors. They would be in for a big surprise.

This story has many heroes; one of those heroes is the Cheshire Cat, commonly known by his nickname Chess. Chess was lazily walking along Main Street, minding his own business when he came across another hero in this story, Crocodile, as seen in Peter Pan. "And what might you be doing this fine evening Crocodile?" Chess said, starling Croc who was busy fiddling with a Rubik Cube, "its morning Chess" Croc answered, "Yes I know" Chess replied, "but that's not what I asked now is it?" Croc rolled his eyes and began walking back towards Adventureland, Chess followed him. A slight ticking sound could be heard inside Croc's stomach, "Ticking?" Chess began, but Croc cut him off by lifting his left hand, "It's this clock Chess" Croc answered, "I've been trying to get it out of me ever since it got stuck in there. Do you know how hard it is to get food when you vibrate in the water? It's impossible. I haven't eaten in weeks." Chess looked around and noticed that they were surrounded by restaurants, "You know you could just walk in, get yourself some food" Chess said trying to be helpful," You live here, you get it for free." Croc laughed to himself and continued walking.

"It's not like that I haven't tried" Croc replied, "But not many people like seeing crocodiles inside restaurants, especially me." Chess rolled his eyes, for Croc was being over dramatic on purpose to gain sympathy to try and get him to give him some food, it wouldn't work but he commended Croc for trying. "Shut up Crocy!" Chess said as he jokingly shoved Croc's right leg, "You're over exaggerating." Croc shook his head, "Am I?" he answered in a defending tone, "Let's place some money on that. I'll put a fish and you put in one of your candy canes." Chess slowly backed away at this, for he guarded his candy canes as if they were his sole life force, "Come on" Croc pressed, "It's just one little candy cane. Besides you get a fish out this if you're right." Chess shook his head rapidly; there was no way that he was going to give up his candy cane for stakes that high. Croc rolled his eyes annoyingly and picked up Chess, practically squeezing the air out of him. "Chess" Croc said slowly, "Place your bet..." Chess remained motionless; Croc snapped the air in front of the cat, in an effort to scare Chess to fork over the candy cane. Chess sighed, giving in and pulled out a large candy cane that was as big as his body to Croc. The bet struck, Croc set down Chess and walked into the nearest restaurant.

The restaurant that Croc and Chess walked into was one that served both to humans and cartoons. The restaurant itself was staffed by humans, for there were plenty of jobs that the cartoon residents could do and many more restaurants in Disneyland that needed catering. The manager of the restaurant was Michelle Taylor, a fourth year employee and long time Disney fan, well technically every worker in Disneyland was a long time Disney fan, but few ever matched the fanhood of Michelle. "What'll it be Croc?" Michelle asked as she pulled out two menus and lead Croc and Chess to the table, "Surprise me Michelle" Croc answered, "But whatever it is, make it small. I'm on a diet." Michelle nodded and randomly took down Croc's order and turned to Chess, "And for you?" she continued. Chess shrugged and decided to play along and follow Croc, "Make it two" Chess replied.

Michelle jotted down the information and turned once again towards Croc, "So...any plans for tonight?" Croc looked up, trying to bide time for his mind to give an answer. "Yeah" Croc answered as he slyly placed his hand on Michelle's right hand, "I got a gig down at the dock. A small thing really, just until I can get back on my feet." Michelle could feel Croc's hand, it was cold and scaly, which would've scared her out of her wits had she not remembered that he was a crocodile. "Really?" Michelle exclaimed as she pulled away, "I didn't know you played anything?" Croc nodded, smiling humbly as he did so, "I'm a decent piano player. You could...I don't know, come down and see the show. I'll pay for any expenses, we can have a few drinks, share a few laughs." Chess's ears perked up, trying to catch Croc's hidden meaning behind his words, it was obvious and in many ways, disgusting. Michelle smiled, told Croc that she would think about it and left.

Chess slowly watched Michelle leave, making sure that she was out of earshot before he spoke. When he was clear, his eyes turned from their normal yellow to a cold blue, "Are you mad!" he cried as he slammed his paw down on the table, "You like her don't you?" Croc shook his head, "Michelle's just a friend" he answered defensively, "Oh really?" Chess continued, "Are you sure that's all she is. I was listening; I heard endearment in your voice. You love her!" Croc ducked down at this, proving Chess's suspicions but still the crocodile held his ground, "Will you keep it down Chess?" Croc whispered, "Why do you think I'm not allowed in these places? Don't you know that it's bad luck?" Chess nodded in understanding. "Yes" he said, "then why pray tell are you seeing her?" Croc growled annoyingly, "I'm not seeing her. It's not like that." Chess leaned in, bringing his voice down to a threatening whisper, "Then what is it like? Tell me Croc, and then afterwards give me back my candy cane!" Croc grumbled and pulled the candy cane from his pocket and then told Chess his situation.

"It's really simple" Croc began as another waitress came by with the food, Chess immediately began eating, Croc only picked at his food. "Michelle was walking down by the docks. She tripped over a rope and fell in, I saved her." Chess laughed in disbelief, "It can't be that simple!" Chess replied, "No way could you fall in love that easily." Croc put his hand over his heart just as the ticking started again, "Honest John" he answered, "As soon as she hit the water she was back on the dock. When I looked in her eyes, I don't know it was like...finding a treasure chest full of all the jewels in the world." Chess raised his eyebrows in confusion, not getting the analogy, "It's a pirate thing" Croc explained, "Anyway the point is that Michelle makes me feel things that no one else has."

Chess sighed out of pity, "You realize that it's forbidden right? You can't love her and she can't love you." Croc nodded in understanding, as the ticking got louder, "Oh believe me I know" Croc answered, "She doesn't see me like that anyway. I'm only a friend to her and I guess that's okay I guess." Chess rolled his eyes, "No it's not" he replied, "You love her don't you?" Croc looked around aimlessly, trying to avoid the question, "I wouldn't say love Chess. More like an advanced form of friendship." Chess huffed, "Are you afraid to say love?" Croc remained silent. "Come on" Chess continued, "Say it. Here I'll help you. L-O-V-E, it's easy." Croc growled and stood up; the clock inside of him immediately went off.

One of the waiters, a man named Joseph, came running over armed with a rolling pin, "You again!" he cried as soon as he saw Croc, "I told you a hundred, thousand times not to come in here. You and that clock of yours are driving people crazy." Croc tried to explain the situation but only got hit on the head by Joseph, "Get out of here you stupid overgrown lizard!" Joseph continued, "And you too cat!" he said as he pointed towards Chess, "Nothing but trouble the both of you." Croc huffed, pulled out a twenty dollar bill and set it on the table before walking out of the restaurant.

Once they were out of the restaurant, Chess and Croc headed once again towards Adventureland. Croc smiled as he remembered the bet and that technically he had won it. "Alright" Croc said as he extended his hand towards Chess, "Hand it over. A deal's a deal." Chess backed away once again, "Ah, no you see you said that you would get thrown out immediately. But we had already sat down, had lunch and were leaving when you got thrown out, which would've happened anyway because we were leaving. So technically, I still win." Croc shook this off; he saw no reason to make a big fuss over a bet involving a fish and a candy cane, so he simply decided to let it go.

When they got to Adventureland's entrance they immediately heard the sound of cannon fire and screaming, which could only mean one thing: Captain Hook. Croc shook his head, partly out of shame and partly out of annoyance and turned towards Chess, "I better get going" he said, "If I'm not there, Hook's going to win." Chess huffed, once again in disbelief, "Hook winning? Yeah right." Croc shook his head, denying Chess, "No no, you don't understand. I'm the reason that Hook loses. He's absolutely terrified of me, for a reason that I honestly can't remember." At that moment Tinker Bell appeared in front of Croc, "Hey Tink" Croc said in a friendly tone, "What's going on over there? Hook blasting Peter with his gun again?" Tink remained silent, telling Croc that this was exactly the case. "Well what do you want me to do?" Croc asked as he looked himself over, "I'm a crocodile. I can't really-" Croc was cut off by Tink, who began dousing him with pixie dust, "You want me to fly?" Croc asked for clarification, "That's a little unorthodox isn't it?" Tink gave Croc a death stare, "Oh right, right" Croc said slapping himself with his tail, "When Peter's in danger, orthodox is thrown out the window. I remember now." Croc turned around towards Chess to say goodbye, but before he could Tink pulled him towards Hook's ship.

Hook raised his gun and fired, barely missing Peter, who was flying above and weaving in and about the sails, by inches with every shot he made. "Blast you Peter!" Hook cried, "Why won't you die?" Peter shrugged and flew in closer, daring Hook to come at him, "What exactly do you have against me Hook? What did I ever do to you?" Hook laughed hysterically, not believing that Peter would simply forget about his hand, "Are you serious Peter?" Hook asked, "You cut off my hand and fed it to that damned crocodile." Peter chuckled to himself as he saw Croc hovering silently above Hook, "Oh yeah" Peter said, trying to stall, "I do remember that. Come to think of it, I remember it very well." Hook nodded as he put away his gun and unsheathed his sword while Peter instinctively pulled his dagger, "Come at me Peter" Hook dared, "I triple dog dare you!" Peter straightened up and was about to reply but Croc beat him to it, "A triple dog dare!" Croc replied, causing Hook to turn around and tremble in his boots, "I think you should take it Peter. But then again he never did finish." Croc landed on the deck and snapped his teeth and unsheathed his claws, "He forgot the Sunday sundae with extra cherries, whip cream and chocolate shavings on top." Peter nodded in agreement, "That's right Crocy he sure did didn't he?"

Hook turned around back to Peter, now more confused than terrified, "What in the blazes are you talking about Pan!" Hook demanded, "A Sunday sundae with extra cherries and whip cream. Is that another stupid rule you guys made up?" Croc wagged his finger, "Ah ah" he said playfully as he approached Hook who faced him once again, "You forgot the chocolate shavings." Peter laughed, "Yeah and its Marmalade Day." Croc's eyes lightened up at this, his smile became devious and his eyes greedy as he picked up Hook, "Did you hear that Hook?" Croc asked, still playful but now with a menacing tone, "It's Marmalade Day. You know what that means?" Hook shook his head for he had no idea what Marmalade Day meant and hoped that it had something to do with the drink and not him getting made into anything to be used for said marmalade. "Please don't hurt me" Hook squeaked, "There's so many things that I haven't gotten to do. I haven't gotten to rape and pillage the people yet. Please let me do that, just one time!" Croc shook his head in disappointment and turned towards Peter, "Does he even know what rape and pillage entails?" Peter shrugged in response. As a result Croc leaned in and whispered to Hook what rape and pillage would mean to him, which only caused Hook to throw up large chunks of whatever it was that he had for breakfast all over Croc's hide.

Croc passively wiped himself off and gave a quick punch to Hook's right eye, before throwing him overboard. Peter walked over and extended his hand, "Thanks for the help Croc" Peter said, "You really know how to handle yourself." Croc rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, "It was nothing Peter, all in a day's work." Peter shook his head in disagreement, "No it wasn't. That was hero status there! Not just some random run of the mill, every day thing. You saved me Crocodile." Croc rolled his eyes, hating that Peter was over dramatizing it for the sake of his own fantasy, but he knew that Peter would do what Peter would do. "By the way" Peter continued, "How did you manage to fly?" Croc thought that the answer should've been obvious, but before he could answer Tink appeared once again, "So that's how!" Peter exclaimed, "What'd you think about?" Croc raised his eyebrows in confusion, "Pardon?" Peter laughed and playfully slapped Croc's back, "Come on man. Everyone knows that pixie dust requires you to think happy thoughts. So what was yours?" Croc cast his eyes down, his voice lowered to an inaudible whisper, "You're goanna have to speak up Crocy" Peter shouted, "I don't have elephant ears you know!" Croc looked up; his eyes were welling up with tears as he regretfully and painfully gave his answer, "Human. My happiest thought is me wishing that I was human." Croc wiped his eyes to prevent any tears from falling, "That's all I ever wanted really. Just for a day, that's all I would need." Peter stared at Croc curiously but said nothing. Croc, in an effort to be cheerful, straightened up and gave his best attempt at a smile, "Maybe one day" Croc continued, "but for now all I do is best the best me I can be."

Chess ran up to the deck, concern and worry on his face, "What happened Crocy?" he asked, "Are you alright?" Croc nodded in response, "I'm fine Chess. Just need to rest is all." Chess nodded and yawned in understanding as he lazily hovered above the air; "Come on then" Chess said happily, "Let's go see Mad Hatter and that crazy March Hare. They always have means in the ways of comfort and luxury." Croc sighed and seeing that he had nothing better to do, complied with Chess and followed him down the path to Mad Hatter's house.


	2. A Very Merry Unbirthday Party

Chapter Two

A Very Merry Unbirthday Party

Croc and Chess entered the Wonderland Woods and immediately could hear Mad Hatter bantering on and on about whatever nonsense it was that he bantered about on a Saturday. "Now back to what I was saying my dear..." Hatter began, obviously talking to Alice, who was sitting across from him having tea, "You need a man in your life, someone stable!" Alice rolled her eyes, annoyed that Hatter always had to get involved in her personal life.

Chess turned towards Croc, "Let me do the talking here hmm? These people, Hatter and Hare, they're a bunch of first class lunatics." Croc smirked, catching the irony in Chess's statement but let it go nonetheless. Chess and Croc came across a small bush, beyond which was the Mad Hatter's house. When they stepped over the bush they were inside Hatter's backyard in front of a large table made for tea. Hatter turned towards the new visitors and extended, literally, his hand in greeting, "How do you do?" he said to Croc, who in took Hatter's hand in turn, smiled awkwardly and said nothing, taking Chess' advice and letting him do all the talking.

March Hare was sitting next to Hatter; he was busy sniffing sugar cubes, which explains his hyperactivity, "Ah that's real sugar" he said to himself, "Is it?" Chess asked, getting Hare's attention. Hare immediately turned towards Chess as the cat and crocodile took empty seats at the far end of the table. "Yes it is" Hare answered as he poured Chess a cup of tea, while Hatter did the same for Croc using his still extended hand. "So?" Hatter asked turned towards Chess, "What brings you to my neck of the woods Cheshire Cat? You never come to tea these days." Chess lifted his paws in innocence, giving Hatter his answer. Hatter huffed and turned his attention back to Alice, "So do you have any men in your life, besides me, Hare and Chess that is, that might even be remotely interested in you?" Alice shied away, uncomfortable with the question, but Hare wasn't having it, "Oh no my dear" Hare began, "Not day. This time you answer the question." Chess leaned in, trying to hear Alice's answer. Absalom the caterpillar appeared behind her, blowing smoke rings, "Don't forget about me Alice" Absalom said catching them all off guard, "You couldn't ever forget about me, now could you?" Alice now felt even more uncomfortable, her eyes immediately fell upon the one person who wasn't crowding her.

Hatter now saw Alice's situation and raised his hands, stopping them from pressing her, "Alright guys that's enough. She doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to." Hare and Absalom complied immediately, Chess was still leaning intently, "Chess" Hatter said, "Chess...its over. She has absolutely no interest in anyone." Hatter then turned to Alice and placed his hand fatherly upon hers, "We just want you to be happy dear. So whenever you're ready, you're ready." Alice smiled and hugged Hatter as tight as she could and did the same to Hare and Absalom; Chess was too high off the ground for any sort of contact. Croc looked around the table and saw that the tea had turned into marmalade, "Gotta love Marmalade Day" Croc said to himself, "Indeed" Chess said accidently entering Croc's mind and creating a conversation, "Get out of my head before I make a loincloth out of you!" Croc threatened, "Alright, alright" Chess said compiling, "Geez, guy doesn't know how to have fun anymore."

Chess turned towards Hatter and got back on subject, whatever it was, "So what are we celebrating today?" he asked, "You guys never have tea unless you're celebrating something? So what it is today?" Hatter rolled his eyes as if Chess should already know the answer, "You're kidding! We have tea every day. Because every day is someone's Unbirthday and we have to celebrate!" Hare stood up and raised his teacup in a toast, "Right!" Hare said enthusiastically, "A...very merry Unbirthday to me, to me. A very merry unbirthday to you, oh you, let's dance and sing and then we'll have another cup of tea. A merry unbirthday to all!" Chess and Hatter recognized the song and picked up the second verse, "To all the people who have birthdays today and are celebrating this day...they can go straight to Hell!" Croc and Alice were surprised to find that this was the second verse of the song but were even more surprised by the third verse, which Absalom took up, "The fires they will burn them, in pain, in pain. We will shed no tears, this day, today. For now it's again to have another cup of tea. A very merry unbirthday to...all!"

Croc stood up and slammed his teacup against the chair, "Are you insane! Singing a song about killing people? Really Hatter? Really? I expected better from you." Hatter huffed in annoyance, "Well what do you think we did? We can't have tea all the time you know. Then we'd be a bunch of loony bins on psycho circus wheels." Croc stared at Alice and then back at Hatter, "That didn't even make any sense." Chess shook his head, for Croc had forgotten his promise, "Croc" Chess said trying to be subtle, "Remember how I said that these people are insane? Hatter's called Mad for a reason you know." Croc leaned in, catching Chess' subtly, "What about Hare?" he asked. Chess hung his head sadly, "If he would just leave the table" Chess began, "He would be normal. Just like any other cartoon on the street. But Hare won't leave, not unless Alice goes with him. He kinda has a thing for her." Croc raised his eyebrows suspiciously, "Don't you?" he asked. Chess disappeared as a response, "I wouldn't rule it out Croc" Chess said reluctantly, "But it doesn't really matter what I feel about Alice. Right now what matters is that we get her and Hare out of here."

Croc and Chess collectively had the idea that the only way to get Hare and Alice out of the unbirthday party would be to declare that today was Hare's and Alice's birthdays, causing Hatter to go into a frenzy and possibly madcap insanity. Chess made the first move and leaned over to Hatter, "You know" Chess began, "today isn't just Marmalade Day. It's also Hare's birthday." Hatter turned sharply to Hare and looked at him with a glaringly as if he were about to take his soul to the depths of Hell. "Hare" Hatter said sternly, "Is today your birthday?" Hare looked at Hatter confusingly and then looked at his watch, which also doubled as a calendar, "Is it March 25th already?" Hare asked, even more confused than before. Chess nodded, "Why yes!" he said excitedly, "Yes it is March 25th." Alice shook her head and tried to deny him, "No it isn't. It's July 17-" Alice was immediately cut off by Croc covered her mouth with his scaly and frankly unwashed hands, "Let go of me!" Alice cried muffled by Croc, who utterly refused, "We're trying to get you out of here" Croc whispered through his teeth, "Play along. Today is March 25th and it's your birthday." Alice nodded slowly in understanding, for she desperately wanted to go home.

"What?" Hatter exclaimed, "Are you saying what I think you're saying Chess?" Chess nodded and took one last sip of tea, "Yes indeed" Chess replied, "It's Hare's birthday today. And everyone knows that you can't celebrate an unbirthday on a birthday. Why the very idea is ludicrous." Absalom nodded in concurrence, "The cat has a point Mr. Hatter. You can't have an unbirthday party without an unbirthday. Why that doesn't even make any sense." Hatter was close to exploding, "Wh-w-what are you people doing here!" he screamed, "Get out, get out of my unbirthday party!" Hatter pulled out an ax from underneath his chair and began swinging. Chess ran over to Alice to serve as a shield while Croc threw Hatter to the ground and picked up Hare. All four of them then ran out of the Wonderland Woods towards the safety of Main Street.

As soon as they entered Main Street, Hare became strangely calm, "What happened?" Hare asked, "Where am I?" Chess was happy to answer him, "You're in Disneyland friend." Hare scratched his head with his ears and looked carefully around, "Disneyland huh? Anything like Wonderland?" Hare asked curiously, Alice shook her head playfully, "No silly" she answered, "Disneyland is much better. Full of much friendlier people." Croc and Chess blushed; trying to hide their appreciation, "You're just saying that" Chess said intimidating Goofy's mannerisms whenever he was bashful. Croc smiled and held out three tickets, giving one each to Chess, Hare and Alice, "They're for the show tonight" Croc said, "Backstage passes and everything." Alice and Hare's eyes bulged in amazement for they had never been invited to a formal show, especially one funded by Mickey Mouse himself. "Thanks Crocodile" Alice said as she quickly hugged him, "Please" Croc replied, "Call me Croc. Everyone does, it's shorter." Hare wriggled his nose, "Does everyone call you Croc?" he asked redundantly. Croc turned to Chess, "Will you slap him for me?" Chess laughed and slapped Hare as hard as he could. "What was that for?" Hare demanded as he held his nose in pain. "For asking such a stupid question and expecting a stupid answer" Croc answered, "I will not say the same thing twice unless I mean it. So call me Croc."

Hare and Alice nodded in agreement and happily went their separate ways, Hare to get himself some decent clothes at the Mickey Store and Alice to find some real food. Chess watched Alice leave and couldn't help but admire how she skipped through Main Street without a care in the world, "There's an innocence that I would like to have" Chess said to himself. Croc couldn't help but feel betrayed and faced Chess directly, his teeth barred and claws ready to rip flesh apart, "You hypocrite!" Croc screamed, "Not an hour ago you were telling me about how such things were forbidden. Now look at you! You're floating on air." Chess looked himself over and couldn't help but laugh for he actually was floating on air, Croc caught this and continued, "It's a figure of speech. You like Alice don't you?" Chess shook his head in disagreement, "Like is too small a word" Chess explained, "I love Alice. I'm not afraid to admit it. One of the differences between you and me I suppose. Here's another one" Chess rested his arms casually on Croc's snout, "Whereas your Michelle is a human, my Alice is 100% Disney cartoon. So...technically speaking if such a relationship was to happen, it wouldn't be breaking any laws, ethical or otherwise." Croc huffed, blowing Chess off of his snout and walked away, defeated and hurt.

At that moment Hare came out of the store, dressed in a derby hat, a white T-shirt, jeans that hung down past his ankles and a golden Mickey chain around his neck. "What's with him?" Hare asked his face and voice showing concern. Chess only stared at Hare in disbelief, "What are you wearing Hare? Is that Mickey bling?" Hare nodded excitedly, "Sure is. I think it captures my personal don't you think?" Chess sighed and floated down to the ground, "No" Chess replied as he moved towards the Mickey Store, "Now come with me, I'm going to show you how it's done." Hare shrugged and followed Chess into the store, while Croc headed back to the dock and entered the water, wanting nothing more than to be alone.


End file.
